Thunder Fuck Express

NPL TEAM STASH #1

THUNDER FUCK EXPRESS

All aboard the Thunder Fuck Express Stonerds!  This Stash is designed to be a heavy hitter with a ton of draw power that can also be hard as steel defensively.  Led by 3 Alaskan Thunder Fucks and only Sativa Tribute level CannaBeasts this Stash has a high ceiling to aim for.  For good measure a few removal cards and showstoppers can really switch up the tracks on your opponent.  With 45 cards total this Stash is well contained and doesn’t go too far outside of its goals, giving you plenty of opportunity to steamroll your opponent.

ATTACK/AGGRESSION

With 235 base attack the ATFs are where the real power comes in in this Stash with Acapulco Gold capable of holding its own with 210.  With the potential of 3 Boosters, you can gain an additional 90 attack to all your Sativa CannaBeasts.  While pulling off can be tough, the Stash being so focused gives you great potential to buff your Beasts.  Leading the no tribute Beasts Pineapple Express, with 165 base attack, is your strongest.  Trainwreck coming close behind with 160.  Both CannaBeasts are very capable of competing against others in their tier.  Mistletoe Haze fills out the middle with a respectable 155 attack.  Jack Skeleton and Voodoo hold up the caboose, not being the strongest CannaBeasts but both with abilities that increase their attack.  With the 3 Boosters, a Munchies, and a CO2 Tanks you should have no issue keeping them on the field.

DEFENSE

Having several great defensive options this Stash is fully capable of holding off some of the strongest attacks while you get your strategic footing.  Wielding 3 Bricks you can stave off your opponents no tribute Beasts no problem.  But trains really get their momentum from the burning fire in their belly.  Posting a brag-worthy base defense of 265, Yule Log can be the fire you need to get this train-a-rolling.  Plant a Yule Log on the field and watch your opponent struggle to figure out how their going to overcome it.  Those 3 Boosters give you the potential to max out Yule Log’s defense at 355, which short of a removal will be hard to get through.

UTILITY

This Stash has a ton of utility cards giving you an answer to most situations you’ll come across in your average match.  With 3 Pot Pinchers, a Re-Up, and a Cotton Candy Kush, you have plenty of draw juice to keep your engine going.  With this Stash being so focused and having 45 cards this gives you plenty of chances to get the right cards for a winning strategy.

Apart from the draw cards and buffs every Ambush and Nutrient in this Stash is either a removal card or a showstopper.  Doobies of Light gives you a potentially much needed breather, while Switcheroo throws a wrench in your opponent’s plan however you use it.  Use Last Roll Up, Northern Lights, and Reverse Roll to keep your opponent from getting their own plan sprouting.

Even some CannaBeasts make the best utility cards with The Butcher, Chocolate, and Aphids giving you plenty of options to further frustrate your opponent, sending your opponent’s Beasts to their hand or ashtray respectively.  Turkey Tail, leading the charge, with a sling that nerfs your opponent’s CannaBeast’s attack, can give you that extra little edge you need to really take this train home to a win.

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Thanks Cannafam!  Stay Stoney!

--Bruce Dougherty (Batman)